Bears, Bangers & Boobies

Funny story - we went to an Irish pub last night as hubby wanted to celebrate his break from school (getting A's), and watch his beloved Vikings and Favre play in today's version of Ice Bowl, despite being 70 here today - and definitely not Christmas weather. We picked a great spot in front of the giant TV projector screen. Other tables were seated around us and right in front of us was a small table where a man was with a new baby (weird in bar I thought), who despite his largely elf-shaped ears, was doning a Santa Claus suit (the baby, not the man). We couldn't decide if it was a boy or girl, but since it was wearing Santa, we went with little guy. The man had the baby on the table, holding him, entertaining him, etc....and at one point we saw the mom, who was apparently playing poker in another part of the bar. (They have a free poker tourney so people can learn, watch games, drink, etc.)

When we sat down we ordered calamari to get the night going and I ordered Bangers & Mash (sausages and garlic mashed potatoes). The Bangers were delivered hot and delish, sitting proudly on top of the creamy mashed potatoes and lightly cloaked in a Guinness brown gravy.....yum! Hubby had an Inferno Burger with spicy mayo, pepper jack and fried jalapenos - all very tasty....we split the dishes as usual so we could try both.

Just as we were about to bite into our food the Mom (of Baby Claus) comes over, "Mommy's here to feed you!  Mommy's here to feed you!"  Now this robust woman was larger than life....literally.....and she plops down, whips out her boob and starts feeding old Saint Nick.  My mouth was probably hanging open with a banger falling out of it......I nudge Hubby, who's lost in his burger and Favre being slammed into the ground of the frozen tundra hearing his 40-year-old bones crack. "Hey look, she's feeding Kris Kringle."  Not giving him any specifics he looks over:  "Oh god, why did you tell me that!"  We weren't the only ones looking in subtle shock. Couples were looking, a group of "Bears Fans" there to watch the game were looking, one just couldn't help it. 

So I say, "Santa is a boob man!"  We get over it and enjoy our dinner, but ladies please note: if you need to feed your baby, you are more than welcome to do it, just please be more discreet!  Gave the definition of a "boobie bar" a whole different meaning. 

....and remember, he's had his milk, just leave him some cookies this year!